Monthly Archives: November 2015

uncertain illuminations

illuminated barrier (blood magic) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne

illuminated barrier (blood magic) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne: a rose, sinking deeply in a fading sun

You reach a point on some days, when you’re inundated by futility and the knowledge that what will be will never be what you once hoped it would be. Life, the perpetual intercourse, works by its own design and under its own premises, and none of them involve you. You’re just coasting along on the thin, fragile crust of an unconcerned planet, elliptically orbiting a sun that slowly orbits the confluent center of a galaxy that owes you neither recognition nor recompense, and that’s just how it is. So you reach a point on some days, and that point is the place where you decide to drive on anyway, as you always do, or you finally decide to let it all go.

But I’m still here, still here, still here.

That sounds more melodramatic than intended, but I don’t know how else to say it. If you’ve ever battled with depression and anxiety, you get it, though. It’s been one of those weeks. 😉

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bright weaving

the day before tomorrow (bright woven) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne

the day before tomorrow (bright woven) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne: a calla lily in high-key monochrome

There’s something about the form of calla lilies that has always intrigued me. This was from a former neighbor’s garden in Camarillo, California, after a windy afternoon rain had left it a bit soiled. There are several photos of callas from her garden, another neighbor’s garden, and from our own, from this time. Shooting flowers in the wind was one of the ways I practiced panning focus back in the day.

This image has several variants: I believe I did three or four “back in the day”, and I know I did two on this walkthrough. The stem just to the right of the subject presents some intriguing processing challenges, in that it’s very easy to overbrighten it to the distraction of the flower. If you weren’t aware, I’m somewhat averse to literally photoshopping elements of my images. It’s one thing to change the quality and flavor of the lighting to present otherwise unseen aspects of the subject; it’s another thing to change what was actually there, so I don’t do that, that much. This softer, high-key treatment was one way of working around that.

Softer tones like this are not my usual fare, but this is now my favorite version of this image. I will probably be experimenting more in this tonal range.

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this weekend was one of those sad mixes of good intentions and unplanned results: i was going to get out and shoot on what might well have been the last pleasant weekend of the year around here, but such hopes were mooted by circumstances which i was unable to control. so instead of doing what i wanted to do, i did the other thing i needed to do, and that was to tend to how i store and protect my entire image repository. not exactly exciting or fun stuff, but necessary, and for some reason, whenever i think about the technological side of what i do, this image is now attached to that thought. it’s kind of the new “the waiting for it bleeds”, if you remember those old posts on the old blog, from 2004-5. i guess i’m kind of weird that way. oh well. the good news with that is that i’m one major step closer to combining two master catalogs and finally having one continuous archive again. this is at least good for the slightly OCD, digital asset management guy who still lives in my brain.

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caffeine tragedy

it wanders like the snow (caffeine tragedy) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne

it wanders like the snow (caffeine tragedy) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne

one of the ones i skipped, back in the day. i was shooting hand-held, and the light wind was just a little gusty and at an angle which caused the flower to move in odd ways, so some of the blur is natural. what you’re looking at was originally a bright, orange little flower, after the application of nearly a dozen separate processes. these lower-resolution versions inherit a certain patterning in the grain as a result of compression from the WordPress upload system. it’s actually an interesting effect, to me.

i have several photographs of flowers from this week back in 2003, when we had a series of afternoon showers in relative frequency. flowers don’t talk back, but they never really hold still, either. and i’m just not one to do the outdoor lightbox thing. oh well 😉

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coronal mass (spectral)

coronal mass (spectral) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne

coronal mass (spectral) © 2003, 2015 Jered Dawnne: a rose with a bit of rain water at the edges

i used to take the time to tend to small things
a used-to thing, a has-been thing
maybe not so much an is-now thing
but perhaps someday a could-be thing

i used to take the time to tend to small things
to see the spaces between the shadows
beneath the undersides of leaves
and in the luminance of the breeze

i need to take the time to tend to small things
a should-be thing, a must-be thing
and let it not be a could’ve-been thing
nor perhaps someday a should’ve-been thing

i need to take the time to tend to small things
to walk again between the shadows
beneath the undersides of leaves
and in the luminance of the breeze

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because questionably meaningful poetry on my birthday, that’s why

© 2015 Jered Dawnne

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a good time for certain reunions

ice maiden (relit) © 2002, 2015 Jered Dawnne

ice maiden (relit) © 2002, 2015 Jered Dawnne: a small array of ice pushed out of cracks on a frozen lake

every Autumn, i succumb to the groanings of the Old Year as it slips away into preparations for the New Year, and those first preparations are to guard against Winter’s stasis (yes, i do kind of run on an internal Celtic calendar, i guess). this Autumn, i have prepared for the coming Winter by re-importing all of the photographs i’ve taken across the years with the intent of “arting up”. most of these were processed in the past, but many others were skipped, for reasons which i talk about elsewhere. over the weekend and into the wee hours this morning, i processed twenty-four of those photographs into thirty-two separate images. reconnecting with stolen moments from an anxious and hectic time of my life was an interesting endeavor: re-rejecting certain photographs and re-experiencing that minor sense of loss was almost as intriguing as revisiting some of those old creations and making new creations from past rejections.

that means i had fun, by the way.

i have many more of these to work on across the remainder of Autumn, through Winter and into Spring, and this also sets me up for re-importing the old masterfiles and combining them with these in one continuous archive, to recover from that hard drive loss earlier this year. the “fun” and “exciting” side of digital asset management.

anyway, the image above was one of the first i took out on the ice alone with decent equipment, slightly nerve-wrackingly spread-eagled across a crack in the ice over the deeper part of the lake, where the stronger current is, no don’t think about that, the ice is thick, you’ll be fine, just get the shot. there is a lot to play with here in terms of depth of field, and i chose the angle for that that flexibility. i did err on having the edge of the frame too close to the sun, but that can be a fun post-processing challenge, too. i made two versions of it this weekend; this one has a bit more tonal depth than i managed originally, largely a by-product of greater flexibility in current software, and being able to run the full process in the ProPhotoRGB colourspace, as well.

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